Saturday, March 6, 2010

Endorsed by the Montecito Cheese Rat. Montecito Fine Art

 Huge sphere (approx. 32 inch dia.) except for the need for a few more holes, decision on external paint, etc. this artwork is done.  Lit up with very bright quartz halogen lamp inside.  

I, @farrellhamann, is far greater than #Trump (not counting his rump)

Bitey Cats, Blue Candles, and Cupcakes.
you want the above on a T-shirt, let me know.  Will send one out, cost plus $12
Church of the Blue Moon/Moon Beams on Your Naked Booty 

Hello people, please call: 916-6417696 tell them you want the artist/writer.  It is OK to talk to the woman.  She will direct you to the correct party (Which is: Farrell Hamann)

Really large carved ball or sphere.  

 Gold Monument
 Silver Monument
Camel Mosaic (approx. 2 1/2 ft. X 5 ft.)

Asking price for entire huge collection (every work by artist Farrell Hamann) is $2mil.

See if you can spot the Montecito Cheese rat in there with the Bitey Cats, Candles, and Cupcakes....  Bitey Palace in background.

My "Zombie" Avatar at Facebook and Twitter.  Please follow: @farrellhamann on Twitter and see my art and funny videos on my youtube channel: farrell Hamann  I have a cool internet TV Series there: Intercepted Video Transmissions, source unknown.  Staring me.  Hahaha, Funny!

Please tell me that the "thing" is not stalking me again! 

Some of you may remember seeing my mosaic eggs on TV in Santa Barbara (Ch 3) We were visiting my wife's mom one Easter and eggs were featured.  I really got started on visual art in Santa Barbara.  Additionally, I worked on many gates in Santa Barbara, and Montecito and did other iron work there.

Please follow me on Twitter (farrellhamann)
                                Copy right Farrell Hamann Fine art/Writing all rights reserved

 Charming short video (under 1 1/2 min.)  Starring me as Elmer ( see all my videos at youtube ch. farrellhamann )  Elmer's Secret Weapon No. 2 (Elmer is unwilling employee of the CIA or possibly MI6, or even the dreaded DGSE, (French))

 Celtic Cross (Also important in Africa)

Old Butthairs (Formerly The Exulted One) haha
America's most beloved unknown artist. Showing tude
I love the fudgesicle quality of this painting. See example below included for educational purposes.

Wife would like me to tell you that she lost a lot of weight. Hauling huge blue tube in Jaguar via sunroof.  Got this for art but currently my cats, Precious and Creamy use it as a toy.  Creampuff the Jaguar

If you're just here looking for the nude beach in Montecito, I'm not sure. There was a place the naked ones went to back in the day, it was in Goleta. We did see a very fat older man march down the beach at Henry's Beach but that was just weird!

Chateau on Rock, hand cast, carved plaster, acrylic. some human hair.  $60,000

Some smaller mosaic artworks, Vases, Urns, and a student egg. Keys for scale.  Top of microwave photo.

Part of my famous mosaic egg collection.  Hand cut "tiles, crockery on natural eggshell, portland cement grout, grout color added.  Have 2 eggs in the White House collection and at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston.  If you want to purchase this collection, let me know. at (916-641-7696) Have around 60 eggs total)

World best egg collection.  First shown at the Mirimar Hotel in Montecito back when it was still nice.  1985 or 1986, can't remember.  Eggers there never saw any mosaic eggs before seeing mine.  (Not counting Faberge eggs)  So, if someone claims to have started it all and it is not me, they're lying.  

Anthrax: Above, fan mail from my number 1 fan, Ann Thrax, funny white powder that tastes like mushrooms. Thanks Ann!

Copper spiral (large piece)

Mosaic Spheres, Not small.  Mostly on glass. Named "Spheres of Influence" by Dr. Makepeace Tsao (deceased Makepeace, by the way was a great man, well worth looking into for art and science.  He lived most recently in Davis, Ca, and before that, Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted 2 free ads via the Santa Barbara Independent which allows up to 6 images per ad.  Cool!! with put link here.  I have no fin. interest (except my ads) just doing it as a favor to you rat spoiling Montecito people (Cito rats)  

Santa Barbara Independent
Artist Smantha Hepburn's cool online shop. I have no fin. interest, just love her work!!

Interesting: Students at UCSB (University of California at Santa Barbara) claim that a Montecito Cheese Rat was observed on the west end of campus.  The rat appeared to be a female and was apparently wearing a diamond choker.  Others at the scene claimed it was a student prank and was only a Goleta rat wearing rhinestones, in other word, a fake.

Recently had big article in the Sacramento Bee with lots of pics of my artworks. Article by Debbie Arrington can be view on line at the Bee's site.  Nearly 1 1/2 pages!

Marble toy!! Kinetic art!!  Short video of my hand carved, hand cast, marble toy.  The red one.
Cool red marble toy run race by artist: Farrell Hamann
Another marble toy sculpture video. the spiral (snail)

Hoping you rat lovers out there will come visit this site.  A rat is better than a Ferrari, it it alive, it has a long tail and is a very affectionate animal.

Running some free ads in the Santa Barbara Independent (online version)  Will see how that goes.

Life with pug dog, devil cats and artist. 

25个房间的城堡或宫殿。手投,手工雕刻石膏25 room Palace by California artist, Farrell Hamann
Intercepted VideoTransmission  
Intercepted video transmission Part two
Now there are many more episodes of Intercepted Video Transmissions, source unknown.  Funny and short videos.  (see me at Sundance and Cannes film festival)  I have a friend who has an Emmy,

Home of the Montecito Cheese Rat (Estate?, Compound?, Villa?) 

Article about me in the Sacramento Bee. Inaccurate and poorly written and a bit insulting but feel compelled to put it on here. Yeow!! 


Balding, shiny bald head, losing your hair? Guys, take heed, be careful with Rogaine, read instructions and do not abuse. VIDEO 

Note on pool boys: Only way to tell if they are hot is to actually pull down their shorts and have a look!  Naturally, whatever turns you on is what you're looking for.  If you just want a clean, well maintained swimming pool, ignore this notice.  Some want both!

Here, I get absolution for sin and Grant of Indulgence (lot of self-indulgence in Montecito and Hope Ranch)  Have your cute pool man, fine with me.  You be the pecker checker!

Mr. Charming, peering through your clothes and seeing you naked.  Ha ha. Nice! Use  this as my new Avatar on twitter (farrellhamann, same as on youtube channel)  Hat covers bald spot nicely and is a cool, Italian hat.  Never thought I'd resort to a damn hat.

The fake turd comes in handy when an obnoxious person (with a dog) is sitting where you want a table at an outdoor cafe or you just want to get rid of them.  When they go to the restroom, or for a refill, just slide the fake dog poo over next to their table and make a big fuss about it.  "Oh, the horrible smell!"  They pick it up quickly with your handy black dog dooky bag and glare at them.  They will leave.  

I've made a lot of fake shit with left over plaster.  Took one large one to art show and my friend, my kid's former art teacher, let one of his boys place it on the floor in the gallery.  It looked like some freak artist took a dump to make a statement.  It was very large, about as large as you would think, humanly possible.  The Gallery Director went for paper towels to clean it up, thought about it and went for more paper towels.  He was so relieved when it turned out to be plaster!!  Funny, local socialites walking past, pretending they didn't see it.  Director got a priceless anecdote.

This was a nice sphere until wife with eyes blue like the Ellensburg agate (talk about rare!) broke it into many pieces with her ass.  (Which is smaller now)  Hosed it down to clean off the dust. Bitey Cat.  (She's Bitey, I'm Claude!, wife is Claudette) 

Urban/Suburban chickens and stuff 
 Letter "A" for Dr. Makepeace Tsao.  On 100% cotton watermarked paper.
Post modern abstract. "Friendly Series"

"Camo" (camouflage) redacted. Covertly removed from the Russian Embassy, Washington D.C.  AKA: IKHAMELEON  AKA: Kate

"Camo" (Tarnung) geschwärzt. IKHAMELEON AKA: Kate Heimlich von der russischen Botschaft,Washington DC entfernt AKA
So very, very cool 

I will always consider barter.  What I want is a Cessna Grand Caravan or Stationair.  Promise to share it for good causes. Trade?  Need investors also. Art patrons.

Cartooned version (used Photobucket software)

If you love toons, mini schnauzer dogs, brains, wit, and great writing, look up artist/writer: Samantha Hepburn (on an island far, far away... for most of us anyway.  Also one of the cutest girls on the planet Earth.  She is @samhepburn on twitter.  This young woman currently has artworks available for insanely cheap prices (highly collectible for a rising star)  F.

Haha, got free box tickets to a Sacramento Kings basketball game at Arco Arena.  There will be a King's player meet and greet, raffle, a cool King's t-shirt, snacks, etc.  Got this via KLOUT because I am, apparently hot in social media as a influential dude.  Hahaha, funny!  Will bring amazingly beautiful daughter, Kate (AKA the IKHAMELEON girl)  Always get lots of attention when Kate is around.  Kid is shockingly beautiful.  One guy actually looked at her and fell off his motorcycle.  When we had some bad neighbors and she was very young, she was going to raise an army of Asian boys to take care of it.  We said NO!!!!!!  Very Helen of Troy kind of thing. 

 We may be trading in Creampuff the Jaguar (S-Type) for a Lexus.  If you are interested in Creampuff (located in Sacramento) contact me.  Also, sold my beloved HCF Pacelite 707 electric scooter.  Best scooter of her type ever made.  Went to a nice special needs girl here in California.

Artist with Creampuff the Jaguar

Detail of complex marble toy (run, tower)

California Poppies and blackberry flowers along the American River Parkway in Sacramento. One of the best places to ride a bicycle in the U.S. Watch out for mountain lions. You can also see deer, jack rabbits, and coyotes. Scrub jays are abundant and considered to perhaps be the most intelligent bird in the world.
Mia, the Champion black female pug dog. She was a "Best in Show" dog before she came to live with us. She is really sweet.
 AKA: The Moddey Dhoo, Barghest, Cerberus, Tchico, Perro Negro, Lobizon, Mugsie, Garmr, Gwyllgi, Gytrash, The scary ass black dog of Churchill. Wahahahahaha! 

Emerging artist/writer Farrell Hamann (larva)

Note: I'm going to start selling my flat marble toy spiral via the net very soon (hand held for kids older that 4 1/2 due to choking hazard) Don't have any made up yet but will soon. Each one will be different. Don't have pay pal so you'll have to pay by money order or silver, perhaps personal check until and if I get Paypal. Have some other ideas in the works for gifts and what nots. I'm thinking I need an inexpensive line of art and that's what's motivating me.  These toys would make great Christmas or birthday gifts or just to have around as sculpture.

Below: Latex mold for making spiral marble toys, I've made a number of these and they are great toys and help with hand eye. The finished marble spiral will be approximately 12 1/2 inches across. For Price, I thinking $32 shipped in USA or $55 for two. You can always arrange to pick up in person in Sacramento and see my huge art collection (giant spheres, obelisks, castles, chateau, paintings, wall hangings, large marble toys)

Detail pic of latex rubber mold used to cast spiral marble toy


Crime and Criminals 

Love the pineapple. This looks like funny people with crazy haircuts

Above: Looking up CNN and found this, ahem, rather goofy typo on Google.

Gave this sculpture a bath. Show is a 3 inch brush for scale.
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Below Video: Toxic Killer Robot Bugs from Outer Space